Why I’m Not Holding My Breath About Season 7 of True Blood

My sweet friend Lisa is looking down from Heaven and laughing at me…  Why?  Because with some sort of subliminal mind meld, she sucked me into the True Blood vortex.  I had no intention of going there. None what so ever.  Lisa, Lisa, Lisa.

We grew up in north Louisiana, the fictional setting of Charlaine Harris’ Sookie Stackhouse vampire novels, and herein was my problem.  I hate bad Southern acting, movies, and poorly done Southern accents.  I call it the Cold Mountain Syndrome, where non Southerners made hideous mistakes about geography, culture, pronunciation, and levels of intelligence.  To this day Donald Sutherland and Nicole Kidman give me the willies…

Harris’ novels themselves have so many errors about Louisiana geography and culture that I don’t have room to rant about them here. That being said, my friend Lisa had gotten me hooked on the novels, which are a bit of a 12 volume ride in frustration, and the tv series which makes me nuts.  And yet I still watch them, and read those novels.  Never said I was sane, people.

This gets me back to why there’s no hope in my mind for Season 7 of True Blood.  The original novels are about Sookie Stackhouse and her human and supernatural friends and foes.  Short, too short, the books didn’t give a lot of detail or story lines about secondary characters.  Along came the tv series, and the secondary characters took over the show, and ran away with it.  Characters who died in the first novel still live through Season 6.  Characters who had no presence in the novels were created, which muddied the series plot lines even more.

Sookie became her own secondary character.  Her relationship to Eric, the whole reason I got hopelessly hooked on the books, became tertiary.  While the series has meandered about, with even for supernatural stories ridiculous plot development, Sookie and Eric became the casualties of too many scriptwriters and directors.  Granted that Sookie’s kind of an idiot anyway, and not the intellectual equal of her vampire lover, perhaps that storyline was too weak to carry, but it would’ve been wonderful to see what could have been.

The all too brief romance that Eric and Sookie had in Series 4 was just a badly written teaser of what could’ve been.  The last of the Stackhouse novels ended with one of the worst last lines in an English novel, and an army of angry readers lashing out at Harris in scary emails and postings online.  This is what happens when a writer ignores what her readers try to tell her, and big surprise those people were ready with pitchforks and torches.  Series 6 has ended with the True Blood fans scratching their heads, wondering if Eric is alive, what the hell was Warlow doing in this series, and should we bother watching Series 7, the last of the show.

Many diehard True Blood fans are promising to boycott the next series if Eric is dead, and with Alexander Skarsgard’s contract up, who knows what that season holds for us.  Sookie is now with Alcide, big surprise, with Bill wringing his hands once again.  No Quinn the Tiger ever showed up, and I think that’s a shame.  A big gorgeous purple eyed man candy who could turn into a tiger would’ve been worth watching.

The Alexander Skarsgard fans out there can console themselves with his current projects and past, through movie theaters, Netflicks, Amazon, and even HuluPlus.

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